Need
by frickandfrack09
Summary: "It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake." [Frederick Douglas] James wanted her fire, and now he had it, but for what price? And what of the man who never realized what he had? Will he ever realize what he needs? Is Leah safe in the arms of her captor? (Sequel to Want, rating T later M)
1. Every Breath You Take- The Police

**CHAPTER I: EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE [THE POLICE]**

 **DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS ALL, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED**

 **Hello all, I hope that you are excited for the next phase of Leah's life in the sequel to** ** _WANT_** **. This story is appropriately called** ** _NEED_** **for reasons that will become known to you during our journey. I know that its been awhile, I have been busy with academia but now that is finished and this is being uploaded WAY early because of message I received from Tobi-is-Fluffy-Chan whom was wondering when this was coming. I'm currently beginning chapter 5 of an unknown amount. Bare with me because this story is still a major work in progress. As always please read and review, and thank you for reading. We are picking up right where we left off, so without further ado…**

 _Previously:  
_ _"LEAH!" I heard Edward yell out again._

 _My arms were pinned to my side as I struggled against his hold. He was dragging me across the room, and I tried to phase but I was too scared. I screamed as he hoisted me up and grabbed my keys from their hook on the wall. He put his hand over my mouth._

 _"_ _Shut up or I'll kill you." He sneered. "It wouldn't take much, just a flick of my wrist, but I don't want to do that."_

 _Tears poured down my face. He tilted his head._

 _"_ _Don't cry baby." He whispered, removing his hand from my mouth to wipe my face._

 _"_ _Who are you?" I croaked feeling fresh tears fall down my face._

 _He smiled at me, pulling me close to him. "I am everything," He said pressing a kiss to my forehead._

 _I flinched and tried to move away from him, but his grip on me was too strong._

 _"_ _Get in the car and drive."_

 _I didn't move._

 _"_ _NOW!" He yelled, "We don't have much time."_

 _I numbly got into the car and began to drive._

 _As I drove, I looked at La Push, really looked because I knew that I would never again see this place._

 **EDWARD POV**

 _She's gone._

 _He took her and now she's gone._

Once I heard the car leave through the phone, I had to resist the urge to crush my cell in my hands. I was helpless. I was angry. How could I not make it to her? How could I call myself her friend after failing her so?

I dialed Billy Black's number, still barely keeping myself in check. I couldn't break down just yet. There were things that still needed to be done.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Black, this is Edward Cullen."

"What do you want?"

I sighed, "Something has happened…

* * *

I was surprised how easily he let me on the reservation after I told him the situation. He was worried about Leah and as long it ensured her safety, I could be on their land till sunrise.

Before he hung up he asked why I had been calling Leah in the first place. I answered him honestly saying, "She is my friend."

The front door to her house was open and through it I could see just how hard she fought him.

 _That's my girl_ , I thought stepping over the threshold.

His scent was everywhere, and so was hers, but it was drenched in fear. From the family room to the kitchen, furniture and glass were all over the floor. In the center of the kitchen were the remnants of a table that was in pieces all across the linoleum. My eyes rapidly scanned every surface of the house, she might've gotten out unscathed since there were no traces of blood.

The beeping of a dial tone caught my attention, and I looked down at my feet to see house phone. I bent to pick it up and cradled it in my hands.

 _Flashback  
_ I tightened my arms around her body, trying my best to hold her together.  
"I will always be here for you, even when you don't want me too."  
She moved pulling her body away from me, "You shouldn't make promises you can't keep."  
"Why not?"  
"Because I don't believe in them anymore."  
"Then believe in me, believe in us."  
 _Flashback end_

 _He took her.  
_ _She's gone because you weren't fast enough.  
_ _You were not enough to save her._

No—I do not have time for that. I do not have time for the breakdown I deserve, because I am going to find her. I need her here… I need my friend.

 **LEAH POV**

"My name is James, and _you_ are _Leah_."  
He didn't just say my name, he caressed it, and that scared me.  
"You have no idea how long I have waited to meet someone like you. When I first saw you I knew you were going to be mine."  
I looked over at him from the corner of my eye. He had this look in his eyes, like he couldn't believe that I was here, that this was a dream.  
 _I wish this were a dream._

My cell phone started ringing and his eyes narrowed as he looked at me.  
" _Give me the phone_ ," he roared.  
My hands tightened on the steering wheel, but my palms were so sweaty that my grip slipped a bit causing us to swerve.  
"Let me answer it, please, just to let them know I'm okay… for now."  
His mask of anger turned to horror, "You think I'm going to hurt you?"

He reached out and laid a hand on my thigh, gently squeezing. "I would never hurt you."  
"Do you believe me?" he asked.  
"I will if you let me answer my phone."  
He nodded.  
I didn't even look to see who was calling when I answered.

"Hello?"  
"Leah!" Edward yelled. "Where are you?"  
I looked over at James, "I can't tell you that." I croaked as tears began falling down my face.  
I sniffed loudly, "He said he won't hurt me, but I think he wants me to stay with him."  
"No, Leah. I'm coming for you."  
James began to growl.  
"Did you hear me Leah? I said I'm coming for you, I will find you."

The phone was out of my hand before I could respond.  
"You listen to me, _she is mine_. You will never find her, you will _never see her again_."  
"I'm going to kill you." I heard Edward growl.  
James laughed, "Oh _Eddie_ , you'll have to find us first."

With that he threw my phone out the window.  
I watched in the rearview mirror as my phone shattered as it collided with the pavement. That was the last connection I had to my family, to Edward, and I was really regretting not memorizing peoples phone numbers anymore.  
 _Like you don't know Edward's by heart.  
_ _Not the time.  
_ I had to find the light in this situation. If I didn't there was no way that I was going to make it.

"Where are we going?" I asked him as I aimlessly drove.  
He looked over at me and smiled, this time is was less of a maniac.  
"Wherever you wish." He said turning on the radio and pressing scan.  
"I've been watching you for sometime, so I am quite aware of how your nature affects with the seer. The world is our oyster my love." He reached over and twirled a piece of my hair, "I wish you didn't cut it."

I jerked my head away from him.  
" _Oh_ , I love this song," he stopped the scanner and began to sing. " _Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you_."

 _How fitting the stalkers national anthem._


	2. Friends for Dinner- The Land Before Time

**CHAPTER II: FRIENDS FOR DINNER [LAND BEFORE TIME 5]**

 **DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS ALL, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED**

 **Yes, you read that chapter title correct. I still sing that song to this day, it's catchy and once it's in my head it never leaves. Also there is a reference to a scene from** ** _Teen Wolf_** **that kind of just happened as I was writing. As always, read and review, many thanks.**

 **LEAH POV**

"You're tired," James murmured stroking my cheek.  
I flinched, moving my cheek away from him. "I'm fine."  
"You've been driving for eight hours." He reached for my hair, "We should stop somewhere so you can rest."

My hands tightened on the steering wheel. Being locked up in a room alone with him was not something that I wanted in the near future, but he was right, I was tired. My eyes were heavy and the adrenaline that was once pumping through my blood was long gone, leaving me an aching bag of bones. But I couldn't stand the idea of letting my guard down to sleep. My mind was quickly running towards places it needed to stay far away from.

He sighed heavily next to me. "Leah, when I said I wouldn't hurt you I meant it."  
I sucked my teeth, "Well excuse me for not putting my trust in my stalker turned kidnapper."  
He withdrew himself from my personal space. "I want you to trust me," I could hear a snarl rising in his chest, "but I will not be patient forever."

I peeked over at him from the corner of my eye and watched as he turned himself away from me, looking out the window. I could feel his anger falling off of him in waves, feeding the tension in the car. His fist was clenched so tight and I knew that if he were human I would have smelt the blood coming from his palm as his nails dug into his skin. I had never been around an angry vampire, and I was terrified of what could happen. I needed to do something that I had never done in my life, play nice.

"You're right."  
He perked up.  
"I'm tired and it would be great if we could stop so I could get some sleep."

* * *

The nearest motel was twenty miles out, but James wasn't having it. He made me pull over and he pushed my car over the speed limit to the nearest city and checked us into a hotel. We both knew that his sole motivation to go into a city because it would be easier for him to hide me.

"I need you to go in there and get a room for us." He said as he pulled into a parking space.  
"You aren't coming?"  
"I can't very well go in there looking like this."  
And he couldn't in, at least not in his dirty jeans and shirtless torso covered by a tattered leather jacket.  
"I don't have an ID or any money—  
"Take my card," he said placing the plastic in my hand. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a wad of cash. "It's late and whoever is working is ready to go home, besides no one can resist cash."  
He was right; the woman went above and beyond once I slid a healthy amount of twenties her way.

My bones felt like puddy as I made my way across the lobby slowly. As soon as I was in the elevator my body sagged as exhaustion sunk its way into my bones and my eyes slid close. The doors began to close, but the abrupt ding of them opening had my eyes alert. The tension that had just left my body slowly crept its way back into my bones as I looked to see my travel companion standing next to me.

"Didn't think you'd get rid of me that easily did you?" he moved closer to me, rubbing his nose against my cheek.  
I flinched, moving as far from him that the limited space of the elevator would let me. He huffed, turning so that he could stare at me full on, crossing his arms in frustration.  
"How long will you run from me?"  
I scoffed, "I'm sorry, but did you expect me to just fall into your arms?"  
He raised an eyebrow and spread his arms wide waiting.  
"You're unbelievable."  
He was back in my space before I could blink, "No, I'm all you've got."

I bit the inside of my cheek. Thinking of the possibility that he could be right made me want to cave in on myself. Him continuously touching me had me wanting to cave in on myself. He hummed contently as his hand drifted to my lower back. I all but ran out of the elevator when the doors parted, barely glancing at the number plaque on the wall before I turned right looking for room 904.

I stumbled into the room, walking too fast to get away from James and trying my best to make it to the bed before I collapsed.

"Easy there," he said reaching for me.  
"Stop it," I yelled. "Stop touching me."  
He took a step back. "I just want to help you."  
"You want to help me?" A bitter laugh escaped my lips. "You want to help me, then let me go home."  
" _Leah_ ," he sighed. "You know I-  
"Let me go home, _plea_ -  
"To what? To whom?" He cocked his head slowly and squinted his eyes. "To Sam?"  
He took a step towards me.  
The moment it was in my hands I was dialing his number.  
He walked to the bed and lay down with his hands behind his head. "It's a pre-pay, he won't be able to track us, and don't give him any ideas."  
 _Ring, ring  
_ _Ring, ring  
_ " _Hello?_ "  
My entire body froze.  
" _Hello?_ " Bella's voice called again.  
I snapped the phone shut feeling the blood in my veins run cold.

"I told you Leah," he said, his tone dripping with smugness. " _I'm all you've got_."

* * *

 _I'm all you've got  
_ _I'm all you've got  
_ _I'm all you've got_

I jerked awake, sitting straight up and scanning the unfamiliar room. It took me awhile to remember where I was, how I got here, and whom I was with. Nausea immediately filled my body. Stretching my arm out for balance, I rubbed my forehead with my free hand, clenching my eyes shut.

 _You are not going to vomit, get it together._

My heart was racing, stomach clenching. I could feel the breath coming out of my mouth in quick, uneven pants. I slowly opened my eyes knowing that if I could see the sun, feel its warmth, I could get my bearing back but I couldn't see a thing. My vision was blurry, strengthening my growing panic and I quickly closed them.

 _No, no, no_

"Breathe"  
Wet hands touched my shoulders causing me to flinch away. I knew whom that touch belonged to and I wanted nothing to do with it.  
"Leah, you need to breathe," James said again. "Listen to me."  
One of his hands slid up my shoulder and rested on my neck, rubbing it gently. His touch was so gentle that it had my eyes opening, vision clearing to focus on him.

It was as if I had tunnel vision, his face was all I could see, but that could've been due to his proximity. I flinched, wondering how he got so close to me, and the hand that was resting on my forehead went to his chest to push him away. It was too late because he was on me, kissing me.

I was frozen.

 _The fuck is he doing._

My body quickly turned into a series of panic moves as I began to squirm to get away from him. He just held me tighter, kissing me for a few more seconds.

I starred blankly at him as he pulled away.

"I told you to breathe," he said looking up at me. "You wouldn't, a way to stop a panic attack is for the person to stop breathing."  
"So you kissed me?" I said feeling anger seep into my bones. "I'm sure there are other ways for you to make me stop breathing."  
"Yeah, but you would have thought I was trying to kill you."

He had a point. If he would've placed a hand over my nose and mouth I would've went skyrocketing straight to a heart attack.  
"You're right."  
His eyebrows shot up, "What was that?"  
"I said that you were right," I paused, "Thank you."  
A smile spread across his face and for the first time he didn't look like a complete psycho, but that could be because he had showered while I slept.  
"I would dare say that we are becoming friends."  
"Let's not go crazy."  
He laughed, "We are laying the foundation of a great friendship. And you know what they say about friendships…"  
I looked at him blankly, "We are not friends. And if we were it would not be inspiring any kind of great romance."  
"Says the girl who just kissed me."  
" _You_ kissed _me_."  
He shrugged his shoulders, "Semantics."

* * *

I had to remind James that I was human, which meant that I had to eat at some point as we drove away from the hotel. He dropped me off at a Wendy's, shoving a handful of twenties in my hand.

"Stay here, don't try to leave."  
"Where are you going?" I asked before I closed the door.  
"I wouldn't be a good kidnapper if I didn't get rid of this car."  
I inhaled sharply through my nose, "This is my car!"  
"And it is traceable."  
"But-  
"Close the door," His tone was firm leaving no room but for me to do as he said. "Stay here, I'll be back."

I backed away from the car and watched as he drove away with the last piece of home I had with me.

* * *

An hour later James arrived back at the Wendy's in a sleek white Audi.  
"I know what you're thinking," he smiled at me as I closed the passenger door. "Why didn't I get black?"  
"It would match your soul," I commented dryly.  
"This is true," he nudged me as he pulled out. "They had black, but one look at this one and all I saw was _white and pure_ , just like you."  
"Where's my car."  
"Paid someone drive it to San Francisco."

I rolled my eyes, focusing my attention out the window deciding not to give him the time of day. I tried to watch my surroundings as he sped through town after town, state after state, pulling me further away from the life that I once knew. Part of me wanted to give up and accept that this was my new life, but there was an inkling of me that was holding on to the sound of Edward's voice.

 _Fuck Edward_ , I thought thinking of when I called him.  
 _Fuck him for making me think that we were friends.  
_ _Fuck him for making me l-  
_ _Fuck Edward._

"Maine." I said still staring out the window. "I want to live in upstate Maine."

The more I thought about it the more it made sense.

"It's far away and there's enough forest for you to do whatever it is the hell you do in your spare time." I looked at him. "And I want to live in a house, near the forest so I can at least run."

"Maine?" he asked.  
I nodded firmly and he smiled at me.  
"And you say we aren't becoming friends."


	3. What Kind of Man Are You- Ray Charles

**CHAPTER III: WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU [RAY CHARLES]**

 **DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS ALL, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED**

 **A/N: Kind of a time jump in this one, in a small way that may not even be noticeable. As always read and review.**

James was actually not that bad of a person once you got used to him.  
I was clearly suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

After driving two days straight, one full day that consisted of him on the phone speaking in French and winking at me and one stop for him to take a picture of me, we were driving down a gravel drive that was enveloped by trees. We were surrounded by green and the wolf inside me was content. I rolled down the window and breathed in deep the fresh sea air that permeated the wind. For the first time since I'd been snatched from my home, I felt a small smile grace my face.

The trees parted as we neared a grey-shingled house—no a small mansion. I looked at James and he shrugged his shoulders.  
"I'm sorry I didn't catch the single family home reference you gave me in your description."

He parked next to a motorcycle and motioned for me to get out of the car. As we walked towards the front door, it opened revealing a woman with a wicked smile and ruby red eyes to match.

"James, you never call."  
"Dutch! It's been too long!"  
I watched as the two embraced and walked into the house arm in arm jumping from French to English rapidly.

I walked behind them into the home that was decorated surprisingly warm creating an atmosphere that made whomever walked through the door immediately feel at home. This was both comforting and terrifying.

"I have the all the documents that you asked for," she said eyeing me and inhaling in my direction. "Where'd you pick her up at?"  
"If my memory serves me correct people go to you for your services because you don't ask questions." He stepped in front of me. "It sounds to me like your asking questions."  
Dutch's red eyes squinted before landing on my face for a moment.  
"Jay, are you in trouble?"  
"Dutch…"  
"No you answer me," her voice became stern. "Where did you get this girl? Are you in trouble?" She was desperately searching his eyes.

"Goddammit James!"

"Anne, I can explain."  
 _Anne?  
_ "Did you kidnap her?"  
"I…"  
"Jesus Christ!" she began pacing. "She's not human, I can tell _that_ from that horrific scent coming off her."  
"Hey!" I objected. "You better-  
"Don't speak to me! I want nothing to do with this." She said grabbing her helmet that was on the floor next to the door.

"Anne!" James called after her. "Wait a second."  
She spun around on her heel, "Why are you always getting into trouble Jay! First you leave me, _your sister_ , and run off with that red headed bitch and her spare. Then you call me cause you want some documents for yourself and a girl that you _kidnapped_. A girl that is not human." She paused, "Are her people going to come after you?"  
"No, Anne. I would never do something that I hadn't thoroughly thought through. You know that, you know _me_."

She sighed deeply before looking at me. "Are you okay? Is he treating you well?"  
"Besides the kidnapping, yes."  
"He's not so bad ya'know. Once you get to know him, you'll see that he's not so bad."

They conversed silently for a few more minutes before they embraced once more and she rode away.  
"Dutch is Anne, and Anne…"  
"Anne is my sister."

* * *

I woke up to a knock on the door of the room that I had chosen as mine.

"Leah, I just came back from the store and I got you dinner." James said through the door.  
I rose slowly, stretching my limbs, feeling the bones crack and the sleep slowly leave my body. I opened the door to him standing with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans.

He had been quiet ever since Dutch/Anne left. It was strange, and I found myself hoping that creeper James made an appearance soon. Creepy on the verge of pervert James I could deal with, quiet and complacent I could not.

I followed him down to the kitchen and saw the spread that he brought back with him.

"Are there other humans in this house that I need to know about?"  
He laughed, "No, I just wanted to make sure that you had everything you need."

I couldn't really fault him because I was hungry as hell, so I quickly piled my plate high and sat next to him at the counter.

"You kind of dropped a bomb on me then ran away." I said before shoving a piece of stemmed broccoli in my mouth.  
"Dutch is my sister."  
" _And…_ "  
"You aren't going to let this go are you?"  
"Until you get cable, you are my source of entertainment."

Listening to James talk was like living in an alternate universe where Netflix was the love child of Hulu and Apple TV, whom had met cable and had a baby. I was hooked.

His life was absolutely fascinating. Born into an aristocrat family from London in the late seventeenth century. He and his sister, whom got her nickname from her love of Dutch apples and stealing them from their neighbors imported trees, were attacked while leaving a ball. Their carriage driver was killed, while they were bit and then left to change and figure out their new life on their own.

He and his sister were in Iowa when they ran into Victoria and Laurent. Laurent was clearly interested in his sister, but she wanted nothing to do with him. James however, could not resist the fire that Victoria had stirred within him. At first they were just fucking, killing, and laughing. But then she convinced him to leave his sister and come away with her.

"The sex was too good to leave."  
"So you just left your sister?"  
"I've never had my priorities completely straight. Dutch is the more rational one out of the two of us. She's always cleaning up my messes."  
"Did you even love her? Victoria, I mean." I asked him.  
"It was relationship of convenience." He laughed, "She's one crazy bat, I'll tell you that!"  
"I'm starting to think you're attracted to crazy."  
"I'm attracted to you."  
"Well then you like crazy and damaged."  
"We're all a bit damaged. Just waiting for someone who's not as damaged as us to fix us and make it all better."  
"And you think that you can fix me?"  
"I think that we can fix each other."

 _I am unfixable_.  
 _Damaged beyond repair.  
_ And it was too bad that James had not realized that, because once he did he would too leave like the rest of them did. I actually pitied the day that he did. Was this what loneliness, abandonment did to a person? And so what if he did fix me? I could not give James what he wanted. I was both stunted by love, and in love with someone who did not love me in return.  
 _Unwanted. Unloved._

"I only know one way to fix a vampire."  
"How's that?"  
"Well… you're not going to like it."  
He tilted his head, "You see, it involves animal blood."

So yeah, James wasn't that bad once you got to know him.  
But I was in no way even close to be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

* * *

 **EPOV (after Leah's phone call)**

"Who was that on the phone?"  
Bella turned to me with wide eyes. "Edward! You scared me."  
"Who was it?" I asked again.  
Her brow furrowed as confusion clouded her face. "I don't know they hung up before saying anything."

I reached for the phone, checking the call log for a number only to see that it was restricted.  
"Is everything okay?"  
"There's a situation, nothing that you should worry about."  
"Can I help?"  
"Bella, there are things that you don't know yet. Things that I'm not sure how to tell you."  
"You can tell me anything Edward."  
I sighed, pitching the bridge of my nose.  
"Bella, have you ever heard of werewolves?"


	4. New Attitude- Patti Labelle

**CHAPTER IV: NEW ATTITUDE [PATTI LABELLE]**

 **DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS ALL, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED  
A/N: First, I'm so sorry that it's been so long since I've updated. Usually I would be done uploading this entire story, but the truth is school has been kicking my ass and I haven't even finished writing this story. I would say that I am about 60% done, but I'm still working on my thesis and am really stressing. But I had some time on my hands and decided to upload a chapter. This one has a sad ending for Edward, and I hope you enjoy! As always, read and review. Many Thanks.**

It had been a month since we had come to Maine, and I was finally getting settled into the house. After two days of complaining I finally got James to get cable and Wi-Fi. I had been missing Game of Thrones goddammit and if I was going to be held hostage then I demanded to do so comfortably. He wasn't very keen on the idea of it, convinced that I would contact the Calvary for a rescue mission. It turned out to be a good thing for the both of us, James was now addicted to television after revealing that he never really watched it before, and his mind still couldn't handle the wonders of Google.

 _Fucking freak._

I hadn't exactly been given driving privileges, but the land the house was on was so vast that I had complete freedom to run. Under the supervision of James that is, James who had been giving me major side eye since I mentioned the only way I knew of "fixing" a vampire. James who was running next to me right now, looking as if he might snap at anything that had a pulse and crossed his path.

I stopped running, "When was the last time you hunted?"

"I'm fine"

"You don't look it."

He smiled, "You worried about me?"

"I'm worried that you might eat me in my sleep."

His eyes were that of a predator. "Oh, I'll eat you alright," he said licking his lips and scanning my body.

"James," I scolded him.

"I don't think I can do this."

"You are already complaining and you haven't even tried it."

"I will become weak." He countered. "I cannot protect you if I am weak."

"The only thing I needed protection from was you."

He flinched.

"Too soon?" I asked and he responded with a nod. "Sorry."

"I deserve it." He responded pursing his lips. "This… will make you happy."

"Immensely."

He sighed heavily, "For you I will try."

I smiled at him.

"For you I would fight a thousand suns." He said smirking.

My smile dropped.

"Too much?" he asked.

"And too soon." I joked back.

"Whatever," he said shrugging his shoulders. He walked away whistling, and then began singing, "Ooo Ooo Oooo, I gotta new attitude."

I was slowly becoming convinced that he lived another life where he moonlighted as a karaoke singer.

"You are such a fucking freak."

He laughed before running off into the forest, the sound of his laughter and the rustling leaves in his wake were the only proof that he had been standing next to me seconds before.

I followed his footsteps that lead to a small herd of deer. Crouching low beneath a broken tree I watched as he slowly crept towards them with silent grace. His face held an expression I had never seen him have before. I thought he looked like a predator in all of the steadily rising creepy moments I had with him, but those faces were nothing compared to this one. His eyes were black as night, his face contorted to that of a monster.

I shivered because _this_ was the face of a true predator, of a monster, which meant that all of the other faces James was pulling were because he was a pervert.

I froze.

 _Jesus H. Christ, does he really like me?  
That is not the time or place for that Leah._

 _But he totally likes me._

I found myself smiling.

 _I am a fucking freak._

A cry caught my attention and I refocused on James to see that he had already taken down two of the five deer that were in the woods. He drank quickly, greedily from them. His eyes rolling to the back of his head, as he gulped down the life essence of another to sustain him. The deer's eyes went from wide to glassy, its body barely twitching until it was limp in James' arms. He stood, throwing the dead animal to the side. His eyes flickered to mine as he licked his blood stained lips. A grin passed his face before he took off further into the forest, chasing the remaining deer.

After he finished off the herd, he sunk to the ground, lying in the grass with one hand caressing his slightly distended belly.

"I am half the man that I was," He complained. "I am no longer mighty, I cannot be your lion."

I rolled my eyes from my position against a tree.

"I think you're more of a man now than you were before."

His head came off the ground with a smile on his lips that only went away for him to blow me a kiss.

 _Well, that perked him up._

"I still have a chance of being your lion?" His voice was pure sex, and his eyes though turning golden, still had flickers of red dancing in them.

For a couple of seconds I was lost in his haze, and then I blinked.

"No chance." I said spinning on my heel and walking away from him.

"And James…"

His head perked up, "For the love of God, lay off Game of Thrones for awhile."

His laughter followed me through the woods and back the house.

* * *

Nostalgia and guilt.

I hated them. And for some reason they plagued me as I sat in the kitchen staring at the landline. I knew that if I were to pick it up I wouldn't hear a dial tone, but it didn't stop me from starring at it.

I also knew exactly why I was feeling both of them. I missed home. My wolf longed for a proper run, one where I could feel the heat of the shift on my bones as it took over. But I couldn't do that as long as I was still connected to the pack. A half a second into it they would know exactly where I was, and Sam would command me to stay. There would only be one thing that James could do, and that was run. Run fast, hard, and as far away from this place he could get because if they caught him, balls of fur would be the last things he would ever see.

And I was guilty because somehow over the past month he had weaseled his way into my life. Even though I didn't tell him much about myself, he was my only confidant, and I knew that if I ever did spill my guts to him he would take those secrets to the grave.

 _Nostalgia and guilt_

 _Fuck them_

I sighed deeply, shoving the heels of my hands into my eyes. I let my attention fall to the patterns that my retinas were creating in the self-induced darkness. The slight pinch of pain from my hands digging into my eyes was comforting. I could let myself sit here in the darkness and ignore everything around me.

But I couldn't ignore the tell tale sound of a phone sliding across the granite counter top. I also couldn't ignore James' stare as he sat down on the stool next to me.

"You can use the phone anytime you want. They can't trace it."

"I don't-

"Yes, you do. Call your family…" he paused, "You can call him too if you'd like."

He was gone with that.

I peeled my face from my hands and stared at the phone for five seconds before grabbing it and dialing the familiar number of my home.

"Hello?" my father answered on the first ring and the sound of his voice, the sound of _home_ , brought tears to my eyes.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

I cleared my throat, "Hi, dad."

"Leah?!" he yelled. "Are you okay? Where are you?"

"Dad," I croaked.

"Leah!" There was a multitude of voices surrounding me.

"I'm okay, I promise, I'm okay."

"Where are you?" he deplored.

"I—I can't tell you."

"Is that bloodsucker there right now?!"

"I'm safe, he's not going to hurt me."

He sighed, "You can't believe anything he tells you. They are the greatest-

"Predator, I know." I took a deep breath, wiping my face. "I know what he is, but he's not going to hurt me. He just wants… company."

"Then he can take someone else."

I laughed bitterly, "Someone else wouldn't be able to handle him."

"Leah-

"I promise I'm fine." I said cutting him off. "Look, I have to go-

"No! Don't you dare hang up!"

"I love you guys, so much."

"Leah-

I hung up before he could even plead with me, crumbling onto the counter. My resolve was weakening, but I also knew that every word I told them was true. James wouldn't hurt me.

James reached for me and cradled my face in his hands, his fingertips getting lost in my hair. He leant forward and pressed his lips to my forehead.

"Go home, Leah." He whispered and let me go.

"What?"

"I said, go home."

"I… I don't understand."

"I can't keep you here against your will. That is not love, but if I truly loved you, I would let you go. So that is what I'm going to do."

"Is this a… a test? If you set it free, it'll really come back kind of thing?"

He laughed, but it was dry and forceful. "No, it's not a test, it's just the right thing to do."

"But what if-

"No, Leah. You need to go home, this place, my life… as much as I want you to be in my life, you already belong in someone else's."

"What are you talking about?"

He stared at me with blank eyes, "Edward-

"Is not my life!" I yelled. "Don't you get it? Don't you even see how many times I could've left? You leave me here, _alone_ , when you go to town, and I could've been gone one of those times. But I didn't leave, because I have no life back there."

"I once had everything that I ever wanted, and then… and then Sam was in love with Emily, and I was alone. Then there was Edward, who was there all along, but stayed even through this _curse_. He stayed with me, and was the best thing… until he wasn't. But as fucked up as it was, you kidnapping me might've been the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"That place, that _life_ , has nothing for me. This," I gestured around, "is more of a life than I ever had there. Yes, I sometimes feel like I'm a prisoner. Yes, I miss my family, but to just let them know that I'm okay, knowing I can call them whenever I want, and that maybe, just maybe I am on my way to being happy…"

James took two steps towards me. "You would stay?" he asked.

"I _am_ staying."

* * *

I stared at the phone in my hand before dialing another familiar number. I listened to it ringing, regretting even pressing send as every second went by.

"He-

"I just wanted you to know that I'm okay."

"I'm going to find you, I promise you Leah, I'm going to find you and bring you home."

"Edward, if by some chance you do I won't be leaving with you."

"What-

"I am tired Edward. I love my family, I love La Push, hell I even love Forks. But that place doesn't love me and I can't stay there anymore. I didn't realize it, but every moment I spent there was draining the life out of me and I was becoming this shell of a person that I didn't even recognize. And then there's you… and I can't. I just can't." I sighed heavily. "I'm not coming back Edward."


	5. Miss You When You're Gone- Patty Griffin

**CHAPTER V: GONNA MISS YOU WHEN YOU'RE GONE [PATTY GRIFFIN]**

 **A/N: OH MY GAHH! I am so sorry for the wait! Life got so busy and complicate. But life also became great! I have about 3 more chapters written, but have about 80% of the story mapped out. So hopefully no more waits like this. As always Read and Review my loves.**

 **DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS ALL, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED**

 **EPOV**

 **Phone call flashback**

 _I'm not coming back Edward._

 _I'm not coming back Edward._

 _I'm not coming back Edward._

 _Fury boiled under my skin._

 _"What do you mean, you're not coming back?"_

 _"Edward—_

 _"No, don't Edward me." I was seething. "I don't know what he has been saying to you, or doing—_

"He's not doing or saying anything!"

 _"I'm sure that's exactly what he wants you to think."_

 _She sighed heavily. "Edward, I didn't call to fight with you."_

 _"How did you think I was going to take this?"_

 _I heard her sniff over the line, "You're my friend Leah, and I care about you more than most. I'm not going to stop looking for you."_

 _"Edward—_

 _"I told you that I would always be there for you and I failed, I won't fail you again."_

 **End flashback**

"Mr. Cullen?"

I turned my attention back to Mr. Banner.

"Are you with us?" he asked.

I stared blankly at him, nodding my head, but I wasn't there.

I was tired. As tired as a vampire could get, and it was because I was running myself ragged. During the week I was attending school, keeping appearances for the sake of my family. But by Friday evening I was out of the state of Washington, looking into any lead concerning Leah's whereabouts that had come my way.

And every weekend lead me home with nothing. I walked the halls of Forks High School with Bella by my side and the ghost of Leah following me. She was always there, with a knowing smile on her face. I found myself constantly forgetting that it was a phantom, stretching out my leg in class seeking out her scorching heat, only catching myself too late to realize that the warmth Bella provided was not enough.

 _It would never be enough._

I sighed heavily as the bell rang announcing class was over. It didn't matter, I was over this day and I was busting out of this joint.

 _Busting out of this joint?  
_ _I have to tell Leah that she—  
_ _Leah is gone, Edward. You know this.  
_ _She's gone and she's never coming back._

I could feel myself getting angry again. I was mad at Leah, for giving up. I was mad at myself for not being a better friend to her, for not being good enough to find her. I was mad at the entire world.

Alice was at my side as I stopped at my locker.

"You're going to get a phone call about her car."

She had my full attention. "Where?"

"California, about fifty miles outside of San Francisco."

I grabbed my jacket, not bothering to close the door to the locker.

"I'm leaving now."

"What about Bella?"

I sighed, "She drove herself today."

Alice followed me through the hall, grabbing my arm once I was in the parking lot.

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"I have to go."

"No you don't, this is a matter involving the wolves, and they can handle it."

I could feel my face twist into a scowl. "Do you not understand that she is my friend?"

"I get that Edward, I do. What I don't get is why you couldn't tell me, your sister, your _best friend_ , that you were friends with her. I understand we have secrets, but why this, what harm could it have done to tell me?" Her small hands framed my face, "But the one thing I am having difficulty processing is how this friendship you have with Leah is eclipsing everything that you have with Bella."

"Alice—

"You're leaving Bella behind after bringing her into our life, our world. If you feel something for Leah, Bella deserves to know."

"There is nothing going on between Leah and I."

Alice smiled at me, her eyes sparkling in their all-knowing way.

" _Eddie_ , you and I both know that's a lie."

Just as Alice said, my contact called me and told me that he had found the car I described to him. I arranged a flight and was in San Francisco the next morning, by noon I was in her car driving back to Forks. The woman that drove the car said that a handsome man approached her and offered her $5,000 to drive the car to this location, no questions asked.

I thanked her, avoiding her advances, took Leah's car and began the long drive home. It was comforting, being surrounded by something that belonged to her- that her scent still clung to even though she had been gone for a little over a month. I couldn't wait for her to be back to complain about how I defiled her car by driving it, and how it would stink for the next month.

 _I'm not coming back Edward.  
_ _I'm not coming back Edward.  
_ _I'm not coming back Edward._

She was coming back, even if it meant I had to drag her.

* * *

"I found her car, drove it back yesterday."

I could smell the blood rush to Bella's cheeks as she pressed her face into my chest and sighed in frustration.

"I know how this is going to sound Edward, but I don't care."

 _She didn't care?_

"What do you mean you don't care?" I asked pulling away from her.

"All you think about is her! _Leah this_ and _Leah that_! Leah is gone, Edward, _GONE_!" she yelled her face red with anger. "And she said that she's not coming back."

"She is my friend!" I roared. "When I was alone, when I had no one, when I was waiting _for you_ , _Leah_ was there."

Bella jumped off the bed, her whole body flushed with anger. "I'm here now Edward! I'm here, and now _you're_ gone! Now I'm alone and waiting for you to come back!"

I walked away from her. I had to turn my back because the monster inside of me was furious.

"She doesn't want to be here, Edward! And yet you are waiting as if she is going to appear out of thin air! It's like you're holding vigil for her. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you stopped waiting long before I got here? That maybe you're waiting again because the one you've been wanting is gone?"

I never thought that I would have to fight with Bella over this because she was supposed to understand. Why didn't she get that Leah was the dearest thing in my life.

 _Shouldn't that be Bella_ , a part of me questioned.

She should've been, but she wasn't. It was then that I realized Bella never had a chance of being the dearest thing to me because Leah claimed that place in my life long ago. How had I not realized this before? How could I have pushed her to the side the way I did.

 _You are no better than Sam._

The realization of that felt like I had been slapped. I needed to rectify my wrongs, and it all started by finding her. Once I did, I would wrap her in my arms and never let her go.

" _Edward_!"

"You're right," I breathed covering my face with my hands. " _Oh God_ , you are right."

There were tears in her voice when she spoke again. "I know."

"I'm so sorry," I looked up from my hands and moved towards her.

She stepped back, pushing her hands out to keep me away.

"I think you should go," she whispered.

I stood slowly, grabbing my jacket from her desk and walked out the front door alone. When I reached my car parked across the street, I looked up to see her standing in the window.

"I hope you find her," she whispered.

 _I would._


	6. Far Away- Nickelback

**CHAPTER VI: FAR AWAY [NICKELBACK]  
** **DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS ALL, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED**

 **EPOV**

It had been three months since Leah's disappearance and finding her car was the most success I had had in locating her. To say that I was not fairing well was an understatement. None of our contacts had never heard of, nor seen James, thus forcing me to change my strategy. I started looking into unexplained deaths that were high in counties across the country. The James I saw in the field, the one I heard on the phone was unstable at best. I knew that he wouldn't be able to control himself and I placed all my hope in this new theory. But even that lead me to nothing.

I sighed heavily and leant my head on the back of the couch as I sat alone in my room. What used to be my safe place, my own personal concert hall, had quickly turned into a series of maps and boards that lead to all the dead ends in my search. Anyone outside of my family that walked into my room would have thought I was planning an elaborate kidnapping scheme.

 _Or a murder_

Pinned in the center of the board was a picture of Leah, the only one I had of her. I had managed to sneak it in on one of our Saturday's. She was smiling, relaxed as the cloudy sky of Port Angeles did nothing but make her light up. Her eyes were soft as she gazed into the camera. It was a softness that I recognized; it was a softness that I was familiar with because it seemed she only ever had it when we were in that park together. I was once the reason why she held that softness and it pained me to realize that I couldn't place the last time I had seen it on her face.

 _What had I done?_

How could I have cut her out of my life without even realizing it? How could I have been so callous to not see that she was what I had been waiting for my whole life? But most importantly, if I ever found her would she believe me? Would she ever give me the chance to show her what she meant to me? It's not like I deserved it. If I ever saw her again, I wouldn't even deserve for her to look at me.

Next to her picture was a sketch of James. I sketched it out the moment I came home from the fateful night he took her. I could feel the anger resonating in my soul as I took in his cold, calculating eyes. I knew in my heart that he was the one that had frightened her that afternoon in the park. He approached her when others had been around. He was ruthless. He was not the type of person who sat around and waited for what they wanted to come to them. He took it. That alone made me cringe. The thoughts of what he could be doing to her unnerved me and made me want to scream. I clenched my eyes shut, trying my best to breath through my rage that was peppered with hurt and anxiety.

 _Edward, can we talk?_

I looked up to see Rosalie standing in the doorway. Studying her face I could see that she was here out of confusion and concern. I nodded and she walked in and stood in front of the board, looking at Leah's picture. She was studying her like I did frequently.

 _I just don't understand_ , she thought. _How we didn't see that the two of you were friends._

"I wanted to keep it to myself."

 _Why?_

"It just didn't seem real, you know, that someone like her would want to spend time with someone like me."

 _A stiff?_

I didn't have to look at her to know she was smirking.

"Yes, _a stiff_." I sighed. "Believe it or not, I practically begged her to be my friend."

 _Oh, I believe it. She's way too cool for you._  
Now, that was something that we could agree on.

 _When did you know?_

I hesitated to answer. I knew what that she meant. She was asking when I knew that I loved her.

"I don't know." I paused, "Is it possible to love someone from the start and just never realize it?"

 _I think you knew you loved her; you just didn't want to admit it to yourself because you had already convinced yourself that Bella was the one._

I was opening my mouth to speak when she cut me off.

 _I mean think about it, you guys were going on dates—_

"Those were not dates."

 _Meeting alone in the park, talking for hours, on your special bench?_ She nudged my shoulder, _that's a date._

 _And don't get me started on the biology incident I heard you tell Alice about. Fingers interlocking,_ she thought giggling.

"What was it you said, _this time it will be different_ ," she said laughing while perfectly imitating my voice.

I shoved her hard enough that she had to take a step to gain her footing.

 _I'm happy for you._

I looked at her to see that she was completely serious.

She reached up and put her arms around me, _we are all happy for you._

It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders as she voiced her thoughts.

When she released me she looked at the second board that covered the raising unexplained deaths.

"How's that lead working for you?"

"Not so well."

"She said that she's not coming—

"I know what she said," I snapped cutting her off.

"She said that she's not coming back and that he wasn't doing anything to her, that she was okay. So she's obviously not in harms way."

Her hand went to the eraser and she proceeded to wipe away everything on the surface.

"From what you've told us about her, I don't think anyone could convince her to do something that she doesn't want to, so her staying is a decision she made on her own."

"What are you getting at?" I asked stepping closer to her as her hand hovered over the board.

"What I'm getting at, is that maybe, _just maybe_ , she's changing him."

With that she wrote _DECREASING ANIMAL POPULATION_ in the center of the board.

"Check for people hunting season out of season. Decreasing animal populations," She said placing the cap back on the marker.

"You're a genius." I said feeling a smile creep on my face.

"I know." She replied smirking.

* * *

I thanked the attendant at Hertz for her services and snatched the cars keys as quickly as possible after I had landed at Portland International Jetport. With the help of Rosalie, I had narrowed down my list from ten to five. After the first four left me with nothing, I headed to St. John Upland in Maine where the moose and deer population was significantly lower than the past five years. I didn't know what I would do if this trip did not pan out. I was quickly becoming acclimated to disappointment, but I had no idea where to go from here. All I knew was that I would never stop looking.

The entire drive had me rife with anxiety as I drove with the window cracked anticipating what would happen the moment her scent would hit me. Anticipation was nothing like the real thing, because when it happened I nearly ran off the road. I had to pull over to collect myself as my cellphone began ringing.

"Edward," Alice shouted, "Are you alright! I was searching for you and everything became blurry."

"Yes," I breathed, feeling happiness settle into my bones because for the first time in months I was content. "I found her."

After hanging up with Alice and assuring her that I would give her updates, I continued to drive with a renewed purpose. Her scent was strong in the area, weaving itself through the trees and on the winding roads with _his_. She had settled here, _with him_. My hands tightened on the steering wheel and I had to remember that this was not my car, where Rose could easily fix the damaged I inflicted on it.

I began to hear the thoughts of people and the sound of life as I neared the small town. As I passed the gas station I heard what I had been longing for. My dead heart quivered as I focused on her thoughts and blindly followed wherever they took me. The quick glimpses into her head let me see fluorescent lights and linoleum floors. She was at the grocery store less than a mile away. I slowed the car and rolled up the window, silently thanking the heavens for the Ford Taurus I was driving to help me blend in.

As I pulled into the lot, I saw her pushing a cart full of groceries out of the store, with him by her side. The excitement, the hope I felt when her scent first hit me was slowly fading away as I saw them together.

Leah was comfortable with him. Throwing her head back and laughing at whatever this newly golden eyed James had to say. Her eyes were shining with light, her shoulder's sagging with carefreeness because that's what she was, carefree without the burden of Forks, Sam, _me_ , on her shoulders.

 _"_ _You're an idiot,"_ she said shoving him away from her.

 _"_ _I'm serious!"_ he laughed.

 _"_ _I can't wait to tell Dutch you told!"_

 _"_ _You can't, she'll kill me."_

 _"_ _Well there's nothing you can do to stop me."_

 _"_ _Oh, I think I can think of something."_

She rolled her eyes, _"You will never stop."_

 _"_ _Never,"_ he said moving her out of the way to put the empty cart with the others. _"One roll in the hay with me will have you saying, Edward who."_

A snarl escaped my throat before I could stop myself causing them to both stop what they were doing and gaze deeply into the parking lot. I froze as their eyes drifted over me before settling on one another.

 _"_ _You are hopeless."_ She finally said.

He walked towards her and placed his hand at the small of her back. _"Hopelessly in love with you."_

 _"_ _Still an idiot."_ She mumbled under her breath as she got into the car.

I followed them via their thoughts from a safe distance to the house they were staying in and settled in the car for the night. It was torture listening to them interact with one another. It was even more painful to realize that they were friends, that she trusted him, and that he knew the same things about her that I did. But not knowing whether or not she loved him, or felt anything for him as he did for her was maddening.

I had been watching them for days on end. Cooped up in the rental and barely answering the calls from my family that seemed to come incessantly. I needed to stay focused on the task at hand, and that was to watch Leah and learn the habits of James, whom she seemed to adore. It made me sick, but at the same time I got to _see_ her. And after not seeing her for so long, I would take what I got.

I watched the way she moved, the shape of her mouth when she spoke. How when she laughed her eyes pinched in the corners, or when James said something particularly inane her brows would pull together, wrinkling the skin between them. What I would do to touch that skin. Her hands were never idle, forever moving, either with activity or wildly gesturing as she told him a story. Her once short hair had grown, dusting her shoulders and moving wildly when she would dance around the kitchen.

I realized that I was becoming more like James who stood in the shadows once and watched her from afar when she was mine.

 _She still is._

And I would show her and her pack, even if it meant her hating me as I dragged her back home.


End file.
